Tribute to My Mother

I was awakened early last Saturday morning by a phone call. One of the attendants where my Mom has lived for over a year was on the line. He called to let me know my Mom was unresponsive that morning.

Many thoughts rushed through my head as I rushed to her bedside. After I arrived, the paramedics met me there to let me know that she had died early that morning in her sleep. She had passed peacefully from this life to the next. I sat next to her for a few moments in the quiet. Just me and her. It was a special time for me to just gather my thoughts and thank God for my Mother.

Mother was born in Griffin, Georgia to a mill-working family. The Dundee Cotton Mill dominated the landscape of that community in the early 1920’s. Mother was the last of 9 children in her family. The 5 boys all died before they were a month old, but the 4 girls all lived into adulthood. They never solved that mystery.

She was reared in somewhat of a scrappy family – eking out a living during the Depression. Like most of the men and women in that community, my Mom’s family all worked at the cotton mill. My grandfather ran a slashing machine that turned the cotton into birds-eye so that it might be used to make towels and diapers.

Mother would later work in that same mill alongside her husband – our Dad, after she married. However, her early years were marked by learning to hand-wash clothes on a rub-board, churn buttermilk, sew clothes, cook on a coal stove, wax hard-wood floors, clean the outhouse ---- all the routine skills that children learn today!

Instilled within my Mom was a strong work ethic. Woven into the fabric of her life was a deep love for God, for family, and for country. Her parents were gentle people who lived simple lives and enjoyed all God gave them. There was a sweetness about them that flowed through the life of Naomi.

When I think of my Mother --- I think of the values that made her into the strong woman our family knew and loved. She was a hard-worker. Our house was “grand-central-station” for all family gatherings and celebrations. My Mom cooked for the masses and served everyone. She went to work when I was a kid to help out with the bills. She used her money to buy us clothes at Parisian’s in Birmingham. She usually put it all on “lay away” and paid on it week by week. She loved the Lord. She taught us about Jesus. She modeled prayer and Bible reading every day that I can remember. And, she loved her family. Family was always welcome in our house.

My Mother dropped out of High School after her junior year and married my Dad. They lived in Griffin until the WW II started. Daddy was blind in one eye, so the military would not take him. He was drafted and tried to join every branch but was rejected. About that time, a plea went out from US Steel in Birmingham for men to work in the steel mills there. My parents moved to Alabama to join other family and help out with the war effort by producing steel for tanks, planes, ships, and various other needs.

They would rear their family in Birmingham. I was the last child in the brood and the beneficiary of a loving family that remains close to this very day. My life has been shaped by the gentle hand of a Mother who loved me all of my life. She always believed in me. She always blessed me. She always cared about me.

She went to countless ball games as she reared us. She washed countless baseball, basketball, and football uniforms through the years. She listened to us share our dreams and blessed us in pursuing them. She was always “present” with us. Her heart never ventured far from home and family. We were the joy of her life.

In these later years, she lived with our family for the past 20 years. I can’t measure the impact she has had on my own children. She was a part of the everyday ebb and flow of life. She is just a stable fixture in the Wiles family picture.

In the last week or so of her life, we lifted her from her wheelchair into a chair at the table in our kitchen. I sat down next to her for a moment. I thought briefly about all of the time she had spent “lifting and carrying” us. I thought about what a privilege it had been to care for her during these later years in her life. She was always appreciative and always said, “Thank You, Son.”

So, I will say – “Thank You, Mother.” I hope those values you held so dear will always be alive in me. I’m proud to be your son.

And so, heaven became richer when a sweet, kind, gentle woman named Naomi Wiles checked in to claim her reservation. I’m not sure how it all works there—but if they have family gatherings and reunions---then look for Naomi in the kitchen. She will be happily serving the people she loves. 

Reflections on Charlottesville

Needless to say, our nation is in turmoil. We are polarized on just about every issue. And, we were reminded last weekend of just how much work there is left to do in our society. Hatred, vitriol, violence and racism were all on display on the streets of Charlottesville for all the world to see. It was truly a sad spectacle to behold.

I grew up in the Deep South during the Civil Rights Era. I remember “coloreds only” and “whites only” signs in public places. I also remember the ease in which those practices were enforced. I remember the “comfortable” separation of races and the belief that it was just supposed to be that way.

I also remember the darkness of racism and just how toxic it could become. Watching the expressions of hatred and violence last weekend brought back old memories of a bygone era in my life. I remember hearing racist taunts and witnessing expressions of racism at school and in my neighborhood. I was deeply saddened to see it raise its head  again in such a dramatic and public fashion.

But, let’s be honest—racism is felt in all of our cities. Charlottesville is not alone. It may not be as violent and as public—but it is there. It is evidence of the depravity of the human heart. The darkness of racist convictions is never far from abusive and corrupt behavior. The fire of racist ideology lurks in the shadows of neighborhoods and schools across America.

As Christians, we have to stand against it. Every. Single. Time. From. Now. On.

For those of us not in Charlottesville, it is easy to condemn racism and violence from afar. It is much harder to combat it our own communities. It is even more difficult to battle it in our own hearts.

May God grant His people the wisdom and grace to overcome hatred and evil. May we be true harbingers of hope and purveyors of peace in our communities. May God give us grace to be victorious over sin in our hearts first and then to be examples of God’s redemptive work in our schools and neighborhoods. Now is the time for God’s children to act like His children.

I am praying for healing in this nation. I am praying for all of us to be true examples of God’s redemptive work. I am praying for leaders to stand strong in the face of such evil. I am praying for God’s people to reflect His glory and light across our land. I am praying for the love of God to be on display through the lives of those of us who have benefited so greatly from it.

May God have mercy on our land.

Tragedy

Last night, I was just about to convene a church business conference and then lead into our weekly Pastor’s Bible Study when one of our church members asked me, “Have you seen this?” He showed me his phone and it was opened to a news page reporting the tragic accident that had just occurred involving a senior adult group from FBC New Braunfels.

I announced the news to the church family during our prayer time. We prayed together for this church and all the families affected.

We have learned today that 13 senior adults were killed and only one survived the accident. A pickup had collided head-on with the bus carrying the senior adults home from a retreat at one of our Baptist camps. How incredibly tragic.

Once again, we all are faced with that nagging question, “Why would God allow this?” As Christians, we face this question often. We affirm that God is absolutely sovereign and omnipotent. We believe He could have averted this tragedy. However, like many times in the past (and many more in the future), He did not. If God can intervene to stop such tragedies as this, why doesn’t He?

I was reminded of this paradox during our readings this week in Matthew. In Matthew 14, Jesus received the information that John the Baptist had been beheaded. Matthew records that when Jesus heard this, “he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place” (Matthew 14:13). He took time to absorb this news. He loved John. As a human being, He was taking time to grieve and pray.

Then—Jesus performed the miracle of feeding the 5,000. Then—He walked on water. Just after that (Matthew 15), He traveled to Gentile territory around Galilee and people began bringing “the lame, the blind, the cripple, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them” (Matthew 15:30).

So, He did not intervene to save John the Baptist. But, He performed other miracles all the while. It’s puzzling, isn’t it? On the one hand, Jesus allowed a wicked despot to murder a prophet, while, on the other hand, He demonstrated His power in performing miracles for others. What do we make of it?

I don’t have a definitive answer. But, I will say that our perspective is always limited. We don’t know the full picture ever. Plus, our God is a good and gracious God. His goodness is on display every day. He still demonstrates His goodness on all fronts. And, this world is out of sorts. His Word is clear that creation has been affected by sin. Further, we have all been created for eternity.

So, until Jesus returns, we will deal with tragedy. We will stand with grieving families like those in New Braunfels today. We will face uncertainty and live with some level of ambiguity. We will have to manage our way through grief and loss.

However, we will also choose to trust God and believe in His ultimate goodness. We will rely on His power to redeem the most broken of situations. We will lean into His arms and seek His presence when tragedies arise. We will hold each other close. We will keep striving to develop an eternal perspective. And—we will pray. In fact, do that right now. It does everybody good.